Twisted

By Jessie Mader, CSB '08

You ask me if I'm crying

Disgusted, I say no

As the tears stream silently from my eyes

After all, this is what being an adult is all about, right?

Your dad telling you he's depressed

Because he can't get a job

Angry

Because he's better and more qualified than the others

He doesn't want to work at Target or Wal-Mart or McDonald's

It's demeaning

He has a master's degree, dammit

Your mom saying that she's angry

"he won't apply to Target or Wal-Mart—he has to suck up his pride and bring some money home"

"we can't live on our savings forever"

"it will run out"

"if it wasn't for us, he'd be on the streets"

"it's all about the money"

both of them said

and I thought love conquers all

damn, how childish

a fairy tale got warped

this is God's plan?

To see a family struggle to keep their heads above water

Kicking each other to stay afloat

Why is this happening?

Everyone is so sad

Angry

Depressed

On edge

What's going to happen?

Can't we get through this

So yes I am crying

Dammit

Leave me alone

I want to crawl in my bed

Under my covers and be a child again

I don't want to know what's going wrong

I can live in the dark

Not knowing is more comforting

Why did you tell me?

I never asked to know

I was fine thinking everything was perfect

Now I feel alone

No one to talk to

To unload my fears and wipe away my tears

Let's go back

Rewind and erase

Start again fresh

Do over

Where did everything go so wrong?

Why is everything a mess

A fairy tale taken a horrible turn

And you ask me if I'm crying.

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